I don’t want to die
It’s, just, I don’t want to live
I have nothing left
I don’t want to die
It’s, just, I don’t want to live
I have nothing left
Blackness.
It surrounds me.
A black fog that engulfs me,
Seeps into my lungs and chokes me.
Blackness.
It is all I see.
The joy of life drained away
until all that is left is shades of grey.
Blackness.
Fills my ears like tar.
Smothers the sounds
I hear my heartbeat like a drum, counting down to my release.
Blackness.
Takes away my voice.
Changes my vocabulary.
Twists my meaning.
Blackness.
It’s all I have
It’s all I know
and blindfolded by blackness I can’t find my way out.
Jazz singer Eska Mtungwazi (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
On Monday I went to see the fabulous Eska Mtungwazi perform her latest work English Skies at the South Bank. I went to school with her and even then she was a musical force, able to play any instrument she picked up without a single lesson. When I discovered a few years ago that she was writing and performing her own music ( we had written a few songs together at school
) I was ecstatic to find that this amazing gift was being shared with the world. On Monday I also felt a little inspired so here is my Haiku for the lovely Eska…
‘English Skies’ Songstress
your music and lyrics join
to lift my soul high
Growing older
Time passes quickly
And I age like autumn leaves
Brittle, dry and crisp
But I am colourful still
As I was when young in years.
I feel as though I am an apple.
In my youth I blossomed.
Then, my prettiness billowing in the breeze was tinted fresh and pink.
Growing into fruition I turned my face to the sun, enjoying its warmth and feeling the rain freshen my skin.
My summer has passed along with my rosy glow.
Now my cheeks begin to wrinkle and the shine is lost.
Inside, infection has set in and, slowly, I am being eaten away from the core.
I am hanging in mid air, waiting for the time to come when I fall to my final resting place and there I will rot away into the earth.