Blackness.
It surrounds me.
A black fog that engulfs me,
Seeps into my lungs and chokes me.
Blackness.
It is all I see.
The joy of life drained away
until all that is left is shades of grey.
Blackness.
Fills my ears like tar.
Smothers the sounds
I hear my heartbeat like a drum, counting down to my release.
Blackness.
Takes away my voice.
Changes my vocabulary.
Twists my meaning.
Blackness.
It’s all I have
It’s all I know
and blindfolded by blackness I can’t find my way out.
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I’ve been waking up these last few days with a migraine. When there’s no tablets to hand, or the tablets just aren’t doing their thing I have a little remedy that helps and it’s unusual.
My little trick, and it won’t work for everybody, is to have a strong coffee, a bar of chocolate and a large drink of cola.
One of the main active ingredients you’ll find in Migraine tablets is caffeine. Don’t believe me? Look here – http://www.drugs.com/condition/migraine.html That’s why the coffee and cola work for me. There’s also a small amount of caffeine in chocolate. The sugar in the cola and chocolate give me a boost and somehow that gets me through the worst.
That got me thinking. What other unusual remedies do I use? A couple sprang to mind immediately that I thought I’d share.
The next one is a cure for hiccups. It shocks most people when I tell them about it but it’s never failed me. My cure is a teaspoon of malt vinegar. If one doesn’t work I will occasionally take two or three, but it’s rare that I need to take more and it always works. I don’t know why and frankly I don’t care!
The other remedy that I thought of is something I was told about roughly 13 years ago when my first born was in nappies / diapers. It’s a remedy for nappy / diaper rash that’s a little bit ‘out there’ but stick with me.
If your child has nappy rash you coat their rear in egg white. Yes, you read right! I said egg white. If, like me, you have a child whose behind is so sore it’s cracking (as it can do when teething happens) you are desperate for something that will help, but even I admit putting raw egg on broken skin is scary. BUT my son was almost free from rash within 24 hours!
The logic is this: egg white is the amniotic fluid of a bird and your baby has been floating in your equivalent for 9 months. It doesn’t sting when you put it on your babies skin for that reason and when egg white is exposed to air it dries in to a waterproof layer. How about that? A natural, waterproof, chemical free layer that protects the skin. How great is that?
Here’s a thought……
If someone is stressed or depressed and you keep emailing them, calling them, messaging them saying
“What’s wrong?”
“Are you OK?”
“What have I done?”
YOU ARE NOT HELPING THEM!
Why?
Because what you are saying to them is really….
I have an emotional need to know what is happening
It’s not really about the depressed person is it?
You’re putting the added burden of being responsible for YOUR emotional welfare on a person who is already struggling with their own.
In future try this….
“You’re having a difficult time. I’m here whenever and however you need me”
aaaah! That’s better
Yesterday I became unintentionally entangled in a Facebook argument. To summarise the argument which raged all day long a friend went for a blood test. When he arrived before 7am (they opened at 8am), because he had to get to work asap, he was already something like 9th in the queue. All of the people before him were very elderly, and one could therefore assume retired. He questioned why they had gone so early in the day, when they had all day to do so delaying others, with jobs to get to, in the process.
I’m not going to relate all of the responses, but they were the usual mix of puerile jokes and serious comments. That was until someone posted that we should all be ashamed of ourselves for talking about the elderly in derogatory terms as we will be old one day too.
My response earlier that day had been that perhaps these old folk had some type of dementia, the (valid) reasons why it could be dementia, but agreeing that it was annoying to be delayed in this way. Should I be ashamed by that?
I went back to Facebook and explained that, on a daily basis, I care for a 79 year old man with dementia. I greatly respect this man, but his age and illness do not mean that he can not be irritating or inconsiderate and I may not find him annoying.
Apparently I should know better because I am a carer!
Why? By caring for someone do I have to discount my emotions and opinions? Aren’t I allowed to feel a negative emotion at any time? Does becoming a carer transform me magically into Mother Theresa? I don’t think so.
Did the person I care for become perfect when he became ill? As he grew older did he suddenly become considerate of all those around him? By being elderly does he acquire rights and courtesies that should not be extended to the rest of the population? I (and his other relatives) don’t think so.
I was subjected to the ‘they fought for this country‘ reasoning. I am grateful to those who did fight during the Second World War alongside many of my relatives, some of who lost their lives, but unless they were over 90 years old that is now unlikely. As I relayed earlier I was told ‘You’ll be old too one day‘. Hopefully that’s true, but will that be an excuse for me to inconvenience others. No! Another response: ‘You represent all that’s wrong with this country today!’ I expect politeness and consideration of others?! Is that wrong?
I felt singled out and attacked as a respondent because I admitted that I look after someone who is elderly and infirm but I can find him annoying from time to time. Does this affect the way that I look after him? No it doesn’t. He needs to be looked after, and yes, sometimes his illness makes him say or do crass things but, equally, sometimes it is all him. I have a right to feel annoyed. I don’t have the right to mistreat him as a result of that emotion, but I can feel it.
If I had posted that my children had done something stupid which had inconvenienced others, but there may have been a reason for their actions, and yes I could understand others annoyance at them, no-one would have batted an eyelid. In fact I suspect I would have been praised for being such a fair-minded person. So what is it about being a carer, or dealing with the elderly, that means that you must discard negative feelings?
